Wednesday, 13 August 2008

  • Just Wanting People To Understand

    This is Josh (the Fiancee/boyfriend/lazy bum) many people get upset reading this blog, and I would like to know why? Why does the truth scare people and cause em to lash out? Why do people want the truth to be tempered by nicer words instead of being straight forward? Why do people want the truth to be hidden? I don't claim to understand all the reasons involved as I am not them. I hate hearing the truth about myself at times... yes I am lazyish, I know myself well enough to admit it. I have an addiction to caffiene and sugar (who doesn't if they ever drink soda =P lol) but there times where I get mad when Kamj (her nickname) gets mad at me and says what she really means.. course I still love her after the fact as she loves me. It does get me to thinking though on how I could improve my life towards the better. Other people though are not as understanding it seems and have been bashing her due to this. Course yes it is hard to hear harsh things by such a blunt manner and where anyone could see them, but that does not lessen the fact that it is (usually) the truth.

    The Church in mention here has been a nice fellowship, but it saddened me to no end on how lukewarm everyone seemed. The Pastor is a nice guy who believes in what he preaches, and I can say for fact that it is a many of Churches that can't say that much. But I hold this Church to high regards as everyone there treated me with respect even though I am hearing. Sadly from where we moved from I wasn't made welcome by the Deaf community's older generation. Now that isn't to say that ALL of them were prejudice towards me for being hearing as that wouldn't be true, but enough were that I didn't want to cause further problems by sticking around. This Church though has made me feel welcomed and invited, and even even went all the way to wait on their service until someone could translate fromm sign-language to spoken for my benefit. Talk about going out of way to be nice. But I have anger issues towards one member of that Church and I don't want to cause problems for my inability to give forgiveness completely 100% so I discontinued to keep going. I don't blame the Church as is everyone's right to listen to Gods' Message, so I took steps to not make waves. But if you recall I mentioned it being Lukewarm there, and I will explain. A Church is more then a gathering it is a Community of God believers who want to worship His name. While I was there I noticed alot of in-fighting even during the message preached by the Pastor, and I could tell he noticed as well as I. Shame as he taught a good message but when he asked a question I was either the only one paying attention or only one who knew answer and that was my 1st (and only) time there. Now that Kamj has professed dislike on the infighting which she notices now (I did not mention to her as I didn't want to influence her frame of mind) and has gotten rather 'verbal' on it to the point she posted here. Now all a sudden many of the members there have tried to get her to cover this up by literally bashing her with cruel comments on other sites or saying mean things to her. Many have used the Bible to back their actions and that saddens me. If what she said had no truth then why are they so harsh in their response? Now admittidly she says things in anger many would think better left unsaid (I should know as has happened to me) but does that make it any less true I ask? Kamj has been Gifted by God I believe by words that many people can't put in words (if that makes any sense lol) by stating in such a way that it captivates those who read to such a point that they feel emotions not felt often or at all. Talk about moving. Sadly instead of reading this and saying among themselves "What is this she writes is it true and if it is how can we fix it?" they would rather complain that is there for many to read, that it is put rather harsh, or is untrue completely. Personally I think the question is asked is "What is Gods' Will in all this?" course I am not a very vocal fellow I am one that believes that if such is true I'd rather avoid it all together. But that is what I would of done had they not started in on her like they have.. now I feel God's Will pointing that I need to express my emotions. That I have and now I have to get to work.  I hope those who read this use it to better this rather then complain, but if they complain let it be towards me and not to Kamj as she has enough on her plate as it is. OK all take care and please remember that God watches all!

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